Nice Try Mamma

" Why the fuck is he staring at me?". It was him, The Hammer. "Dude, thats The Hammer. Thats Eddie's brother man. You need to get out of here. Now!!". "Yeah, but why the fuck is he staring at me? Tell him I'm straight, I am not intersted...ha ha ha". "This is not funny Marcus! You killed his fucking brother man and now he's here, with a fucking shotgun in his hand. We got to leave now Marcus, before he puts a bullet through your head".

Too much blood had spilled already. This had to stop. Somewhere, sometime and somehow. "Well then, he couldn't have picked a better place and time, right?". "You scared?". "You know I got your back man, but we got no ammo". "I know your scared, you chicken shit and I want you out of here. I dragged you into this, but I wont let you die in this mess. Get out off here Leo!". "You draged me in too deep Marcus". "Well, now I'm setting you free, get the fuck out off here Leo"

Lock and Load. One shot in the air. Fear and panic, every one rushes out screaming. Everyone, except Marcus and Leo. "Who the fuck is Marcus Babble?". "Wo! Look who's here? If it isn't The Hammer, who just lost his pin head of a brother. So, whats your daddy called? Tool bag?...ha ha ha" "Yea, I killed your fucking brother. You want to know why?"

"Do I want to know why?... NO!". BANG BANG BANG. Two shots to the body, one to the head. "Marcus!!". Pistol out. BANG BANG. Two shots to the head. The Hammer falls.

The police finally arrive at the scene- NYPD. "Good job officer. We finally got the bastards". "Get me out of here sarge."

"Justin, lower the volume please! I am trying to watch my malayalam movie here. And why do you watch such dishum dishum kind of movies. Watch the news, atleast you will learn something which will help you later in life."

"But Mamma, like your Malayalm movies have a lot to offer". She walks away, shaking her head hopelessly.

Among the many fought Mother-Son arguments, this round went to me.

THE CONCEITED- Unloaded

Date: Unknown
Time: Unknown

In a place known to all, loved by some, but hated by many, there lived one who knew himself better than anyone else on the land. Tall, fair, handsome and self assured (A liitle too much for peoples liking). His name- Hubris, a king. His kingdom- VanityVille. Enter, the fabulous, but a not so well appreciated life of THE CONCEITED.

Born to normal middle class parents, his greatness was hidden in the average life he led. His emotions, ego and feelings suppressed by utter commonness. His brash confidence stolen by his loud and lime-light stealing sister.But, little did the world know what was to hit them and hit them hard. Little did he know about the potential that lied within. This was all part of the Great Plan.

22 years and 2 months into his existences, he arrives, at last. Shedding the ordinary, he comes out, finally living up to his Greek god-like name. He walks up, closer and closer. One mighty step at a time.

Camera zooms, and, diretor yells "CUT! Great scene guys. Jerry, fantastic! Great shot yaar. This movie is going to kick butt!"

Sorry, had to end it there. The modesty in me, could not let it go any further.

Thank GOD I'm Alive!

Here I was trying to figure out "what next?". I am jack of all trades, king of nothing. Should I do it? Jump of this balcony right now and end it all. Three seconds flat, like a television turned off, a flash of white and then complete darkness. Ooh! Thats the problem- complete darkness. I tried that once. Sitting in my room, lights out and curtains drawn. It was the closest I could come to it. Until that tiny glint of moonlight ruined it all. It rather made me think- I can go downstairs right now and join my folks for dinner.Two sets of television running, but we still have quarrels of who gets to watch what. So much food, but our taste buds want a particular flavour. If you dont get what you want, you leave in protest, until you get what you want.
So much to do, so little time. You plan, and you plan and you plan. Miracles do happen though, more than you think they do. Yet, I fail to understand my purpose here. I am writing random shit, but I am not drugged or drunk. Its just a different style today.
What if I made a movie on myself? Hmmm! It would definitely bomb. Such a boring cliched life. But miracles do happen. Maybe I can pretend to be this Hollywood celebrity, write about my imaginary life, and share it with my public.
"Hi people! The rumours about Angie and I splitting are true. I am devastated at the situation, as much as you are. Its been a wonderful journey though. Angie is a wonderful woman, an amazing mother and a great lover. The kids have no idea about it. Maddox is sitting on my lap, as I write this. Tears are running down my eyes and he asks me, "Whats wrong daddy? Why are you crying?". Told him it happened if you stared at the screen for too long. He still didn't understand. He will, one day, some day. God I hate my life. I'm over 40, I don't have kids of my own, women use me and leave me. Jennifer was the worst. I still haven't won an Oscar, though my movie has been nominated this time. What's the point? Even if we win, Quintin gets to keep the statuette. Wish I could just kill myself, end it all. One pill and poof, into oblivion and endless darkness. Heath, here I come mate."
Gosh! even celebrities, don't have it easy. I guess I will go down and join my family. I can smell the lovely kerala style beef curry from here. Yummy!
Thank GOD I'm alive!